it's been a few days since my last post but try not to make this too long...
lots has happened but for now just a quick update.
The money that has been raised is being put to good use, among the odds and ends that also need to be replaced, we have bought mattresses for the kids at the special needs orphange....they have been sleeping on wooden slats....i am heading in tomorrow to work with the kids and also see the mattresses, i did not skimp on the thickness and we are getting them specially made as they need to be wee proof...i have also bought new drinking cups for the little school and the fishing village school, toys, nappies for all the kids at the special needs orphange (a few months supply) i am also intending on sending some protein/carbohydrate chocolate powder for the kids so they can enjoy milk shakes everyday that have a balance of all the vitamins and minerals they need (Chan is sponsoring the milk program for a year so the supply of powder suppliments will be quite a big expense but needed). There are a lot of other menial things purchased and still being purchased so for all of you who have donated and helped me raise money for these kids we send you a huge huge thanks....
On a personal note, this week has been tough...i found myself getting quite emotional about the special needs kids of late...forgive me if i'm all over the place with infomation and feelings...
Thurday after lunch we cycled to the big buddha near the special needs orphange...this place is wonderful and it was amazing to walk into nature again...this part of the trip has been tough in so many ways but one quite selfishly is because i don't have nature around me...it really takes it toll....after the pergoda trail and big buddha i went to the special needs orphanage and as there was 4 of us there i worked a bit on Tro and then spent most of the day with Duoc; the 2 month old with a cleft pallet, i got to hold him, play with him and do some physiotherapy that was taught to me by Tanya...basic needs of a baby...helping him roll to the side and teaching him to reach out for a toy, letting him pull himself up while you hold his hands, making him sit in a frog position and rocking him till he falls asleep....i've fallen in love with this little guy, my heart hold a very special place for him....on the same day once Duoc was asleep i helped Chan with Tro, she had already gotten him into a great position (Tro is one of the kids who has C.P and is very very stiff) so i just sat infront of him and helped straighten his head a bit more and held his face on either side...just talking to him and stroking his cheeks...eventually he fell asleep...he actually stayed asleep for about ten minutes, letting his face rest in my hands...it was remarkable...this poor boy goes into muscle spasms so often that he hardly ever sleeps and here we were, both Chan and i holding him and feeling his little body relax, this has to be one of my most memorable and touching moments..my heart hurts for him each time i see him and each time i work with his tiny frame to release his muscles....i have huge love and compassion for this frail little boy....
Friday i got to go to the special needs program again and worked with baby Duoc for a little bit and then the little girl with hydrocyphilous (huge head)...Tanya the physio worked with us again so i helped her out with Tro...not so easy this time around and she is a tough cookie...she works him hard which is really necessary...we only had 1.5 hours and in that time I felt we didn't get too much done....no real relaxation in his body...his muscle spasms were bad that day and by the end of our session i was sweating...to try and hold him is tough in itself...he is remarkably strong even without the muscle spasms but when they occur they are a workout to keep him relaxed....when we left that day i could have cried and probably should have....
Friday was our half day and when we came back to the house we were to get ready and head off to Nha Trang. our train was leaving at 2.45 and it was a 3-4 hour trip ahead. We booked the most remarkable place (over the internet it looked great) called Hon Tam resort on Silkworm Island. We arrived at the train station and after waiting till 3.10pm we asked the ticket lady what was happening...she informed us that the train was delayed till 6.30pm!!...we decided to cash in the ticket and try to bus it...we hopped in the taxi and on the way there i asked Chan to ask the driver how much it would cost to take us all the way there...he said 1.1million dong...the equivilent of about $50 between six of us...i put it to the group that i thought this would be a better option as most people who were due to catch the train would be catching the bus and it's not exactly a comfortable ride...no prizes for guessing the outcome of that question....2.5 hours by cab (the scariest ride i've ever taken...these people are dangerous on the road...the overtaking on a winding ride on a blind corner and trucks everywhere) a bit of medition to calm the nerves and all of a sudden the tears came...they came and wouldn't stop...my morning had just caught up to me and my heart was so sad....my thoughts were only of Tro and Duoc...I am leaving soon and so are the others....I know there are other volunteers coming in March but it's a whole month away and my heart is so sad that they will not have the attention they so desperately need...i couldn't even cry properly...i'm in a car with 5 other girls who are excited about our weekend trip and i didn't want to make a scene....i hold back as much as i can and manage to calm myself enough that no one realizes i've had my moment....we arrive in Nha Trang for $10 (including a tip) for a 2.5 hour ride....we are dropped off at the train station as our driver did not know the streets of Nha Trang...that's cool, one more taxi trip later and we at our Marina...this waiting area is great....couches and T.V's...so nice....we have a 50 minute wait for the free ferry to the island and we sit back in luxury and are thankful we decided to have a princess weekend...
our ferry arrives and we hop on board....10 minutes later we are at our island...and it's gorgeous....it's night but i can just tell...it's beautiful.....we get our rooms and head off in our buggy to our hilltop....i have a room by myslef and it's magnificent..it overlooks the rest of the resort below, the pool and then in the distance the beach and the mountains further away, and this is the view at night!!!..and the bathroom....to die for!!!..;pitty it's such crappy weather.....
we meet for dinner and have the most amazing meal...we decide on a spa day the next day and i go all out...really all out....i've booked 5 hours in the spa....i'm really looking forward to the next day....
i just have to mention the bed...and the pillows...oh my god...a real nights sleep....it was amazing...i could have stayed in that bed the entire day........
we meet up for breakfast and then head off to the spa....i start my session with reflexology, then a sports massage, then a hot rock massage...after that i head to the lounge chairs for my heel scrub, parafin wax on my feet, a manicure and a pedicure as well as french polish on my toe nails.....5 hours later i am back in my room and ready to just hop into bed....have to admit something really childish and ridiculous....i feel so left out....i love the people i am with and have a great respect for them as well....i just feel like i'm the odd one out....i don't fit in....and i don't want to try either....trying just makes it worse....it's either natural or not and at this stage it's not....Chan and Eva have so much more in common, Tanya is only here till Sunday and then back to her placement further up north and the sisters...well they are sisters.....that just leaves me....i'm so different to all of them and i feel like i'm on the outside...it's ok but it's sad to feel this way at the end of my trip....i'm glad to be coming home soon....
the end of my weekend was ordinary....i spend the rest of Saturday afternoon and evening in bed..Chan and Eva went to Nha Trang and met up with the other 3 girls..they had a great night out....
we were supposed to meet up for breakfast for 8am the next morning but the girls slept in...breakfast by myself...and a good book...thank god i kept my yoga sutra book...takes me back to the real me.....by the time the girls got down to dinner i had finished and was sitting outside reading, i eventually joined them after they had eaten and had let them know that i was going to take a look around the ancient home that had been preserved on the island, they decided to go back to bed....i'm glad i went though...it was great, the island had so much more on it than we could see from our rooms...it was twice the size i thought it was and the old house was lovely and the area surrounding it was peaceful and balancing.....by the time i finished my walk it was time to start packing and check out.....
a quick ride back to the main land and an equally quick ride in a taxi to an art gallery where the girls had found some stuff the day before and wanted to go back.....
in the end i bought 2 paintings and found out that if i send a picture to the guy he will reproduce it for me in the colours i like for around $100...happy about that cause i already have a picture in mind!!! finally my walls at home will have some art work on them!!!
as they were packing up my paintings i wandered down the street and found a great little bag shop with other bits and pieces but who am i kidding...i don't use bags....internally i say 'i will not buy for the sake of buying'..... i go back to the art gallery and they have rolled my paintings and put them in a pvc piping with a rope attached for easy carrying....loved their thoughtfulness.
we headed across the road to another shop that had clothes and bags and shoes....(i must mention two things here....i have been trying to find a pair of sunglasses for the past week...nothing flash but something nice and different to what i normally wear...i must have tried over 100 pairs of glasses on and nothing is nice...the second thing is that my only pair of shoes now stink...no seriously they smell really bad and they're Merrell thongs...the inner soul is cloth and with the journey i've been on they are not smelling the best so i've been desperate for a pair of shoes...comfortable of course)...i see the shoes and pick a pair that i love....they don't have my size....i start looking through the clothes...Eva walks out in a fabulous dress...i figure i should buy the same as we don't live near each other....but no more of those dresses...i try on a couple of other pairs of shoes...they are ok so i leave them on while i look over the clothes again....i try a couple of dresses on but i feel like and look like i've put on weight...nothing looks nice...the shoes are still comfortable...i have one of each on my feet.....i decide on the shoes and while i wait for her to get them together i walk over to the sunglasses..i try on a pair of aviation style...yuk...although i knew that already...i grab another pair (they say rayban but seriously doubt it)...they look great....there's another one to go into the bag....all up $25 for 2 pairs of shoes and a pair of sunnies....happy about that...
we meet up with our taxi driver and we start the long scary trip home only to arrive and the house is locked up...none of us have a key....we decided to head out for dinner and wait it out on full stomaches.....
the feel of the group is different now and although we all like each other and get along really well it's just a feeling i get.....maybe it's because Eva is due to go on Tuesday and me on Wednesday...i'm caught up in thoughts about these kids and what the future holds for them....
I've just finished chatting to Leah and Alana and we are all feeling fairly useless.....it's hard to do this type of volunteering and not feel like you've accomplished anything at any placement (i take care of 5 groups in total)...i'm off to bed now feeling sad and defeated, not yet wanting to leave but wanting to at the same time...
i'm off to bed now....slightly deflated but hopeful that for the next 2.5 days i can just be present with these kids and show them how much they mean to me...
sweet dreams all
love and light
xxxxxx
lots has happened but for now just a quick update.
The money that has been raised is being put to good use, among the odds and ends that also need to be replaced, we have bought mattresses for the kids at the special needs orphange....they have been sleeping on wooden slats....i am heading in tomorrow to work with the kids and also see the mattresses, i did not skimp on the thickness and we are getting them specially made as they need to be wee proof...i have also bought new drinking cups for the little school and the fishing village school, toys, nappies for all the kids at the special needs orphange (a few months supply) i am also intending on sending some protein/carbohydrate chocolate powder for the kids so they can enjoy milk shakes everyday that have a balance of all the vitamins and minerals they need (Chan is sponsoring the milk program for a year so the supply of powder suppliments will be quite a big expense but needed). There are a lot of other menial things purchased and still being purchased so for all of you who have donated and helped me raise money for these kids we send you a huge huge thanks....
On a personal note, this week has been tough...i found myself getting quite emotional about the special needs kids of late...forgive me if i'm all over the place with infomation and feelings...
Thurday after lunch we cycled to the big buddha near the special needs orphange...this place is wonderful and it was amazing to walk into nature again...this part of the trip has been tough in so many ways but one quite selfishly is because i don't have nature around me...it really takes it toll....after the pergoda trail and big buddha i went to the special needs orphanage and as there was 4 of us there i worked a bit on Tro and then spent most of the day with Duoc; the 2 month old with a cleft pallet, i got to hold him, play with him and do some physiotherapy that was taught to me by Tanya...basic needs of a baby...helping him roll to the side and teaching him to reach out for a toy, letting him pull himself up while you hold his hands, making him sit in a frog position and rocking him till he falls asleep....i've fallen in love with this little guy, my heart hold a very special place for him....on the same day once Duoc was asleep i helped Chan with Tro, she had already gotten him into a great position (Tro is one of the kids who has C.P and is very very stiff) so i just sat infront of him and helped straighten his head a bit more and held his face on either side...just talking to him and stroking his cheeks...eventually he fell asleep...he actually stayed asleep for about ten minutes, letting his face rest in my hands...it was remarkable...this poor boy goes into muscle spasms so often that he hardly ever sleeps and here we were, both Chan and i holding him and feeling his little body relax, this has to be one of my most memorable and touching moments..my heart hurts for him each time i see him and each time i work with his tiny frame to release his muscles....i have huge love and compassion for this frail little boy....
Friday i got to go to the special needs program again and worked with baby Duoc for a little bit and then the little girl with hydrocyphilous (huge head)...Tanya the physio worked with us again so i helped her out with Tro...not so easy this time around and she is a tough cookie...she works him hard which is really necessary...we only had 1.5 hours and in that time I felt we didn't get too much done....no real relaxation in his body...his muscle spasms were bad that day and by the end of our session i was sweating...to try and hold him is tough in itself...he is remarkably strong even without the muscle spasms but when they occur they are a workout to keep him relaxed....when we left that day i could have cried and probably should have....
Friday was our half day and when we came back to the house we were to get ready and head off to Nha Trang. our train was leaving at 2.45 and it was a 3-4 hour trip ahead. We booked the most remarkable place (over the internet it looked great) called Hon Tam resort on Silkworm Island. We arrived at the train station and after waiting till 3.10pm we asked the ticket lady what was happening...she informed us that the train was delayed till 6.30pm!!...we decided to cash in the ticket and try to bus it...we hopped in the taxi and on the way there i asked Chan to ask the driver how much it would cost to take us all the way there...he said 1.1million dong...the equivilent of about $50 between six of us...i put it to the group that i thought this would be a better option as most people who were due to catch the train would be catching the bus and it's not exactly a comfortable ride...no prizes for guessing the outcome of that question....2.5 hours by cab (the scariest ride i've ever taken...these people are dangerous on the road...the overtaking on a winding ride on a blind corner and trucks everywhere) a bit of medition to calm the nerves and all of a sudden the tears came...they came and wouldn't stop...my morning had just caught up to me and my heart was so sad....my thoughts were only of Tro and Duoc...I am leaving soon and so are the others....I know there are other volunteers coming in March but it's a whole month away and my heart is so sad that they will not have the attention they so desperately need...i couldn't even cry properly...i'm in a car with 5 other girls who are excited about our weekend trip and i didn't want to make a scene....i hold back as much as i can and manage to calm myself enough that no one realizes i've had my moment....we arrive in Nha Trang for $10 (including a tip) for a 2.5 hour ride....we are dropped off at the train station as our driver did not know the streets of Nha Trang...that's cool, one more taxi trip later and we at our Marina...this waiting area is great....couches and T.V's...so nice....we have a 50 minute wait for the free ferry to the island and we sit back in luxury and are thankful we decided to have a princess weekend...
our ferry arrives and we hop on board....10 minutes later we are at our island...and it's gorgeous....it's night but i can just tell...it's beautiful.....we get our rooms and head off in our buggy to our hilltop....i have a room by myslef and it's magnificent..it overlooks the rest of the resort below, the pool and then in the distance the beach and the mountains further away, and this is the view at night!!!..and the bathroom....to die for!!!..;pitty it's such crappy weather.....
we meet for dinner and have the most amazing meal...we decide on a spa day the next day and i go all out...really all out....i've booked 5 hours in the spa....i'm really looking forward to the next day....
i just have to mention the bed...and the pillows...oh my god...a real nights sleep....it was amazing...i could have stayed in that bed the entire day........
we meet up for breakfast and then head off to the spa....i start my session with reflexology, then a sports massage, then a hot rock massage...after that i head to the lounge chairs for my heel scrub, parafin wax on my feet, a manicure and a pedicure as well as french polish on my toe nails.....5 hours later i am back in my room and ready to just hop into bed....have to admit something really childish and ridiculous....i feel so left out....i love the people i am with and have a great respect for them as well....i just feel like i'm the odd one out....i don't fit in....and i don't want to try either....trying just makes it worse....it's either natural or not and at this stage it's not....Chan and Eva have so much more in common, Tanya is only here till Sunday and then back to her placement further up north and the sisters...well they are sisters.....that just leaves me....i'm so different to all of them and i feel like i'm on the outside...it's ok but it's sad to feel this way at the end of my trip....i'm glad to be coming home soon....
the end of my weekend was ordinary....i spend the rest of Saturday afternoon and evening in bed..Chan and Eva went to Nha Trang and met up with the other 3 girls..they had a great night out....
we were supposed to meet up for breakfast for 8am the next morning but the girls slept in...breakfast by myself...and a good book...thank god i kept my yoga sutra book...takes me back to the real me.....by the time the girls got down to dinner i had finished and was sitting outside reading, i eventually joined them after they had eaten and had let them know that i was going to take a look around the ancient home that had been preserved on the island, they decided to go back to bed....i'm glad i went though...it was great, the island had so much more on it than we could see from our rooms...it was twice the size i thought it was and the old house was lovely and the area surrounding it was peaceful and balancing.....by the time i finished my walk it was time to start packing and check out.....
a quick ride back to the main land and an equally quick ride in a taxi to an art gallery where the girls had found some stuff the day before and wanted to go back.....
in the end i bought 2 paintings and found out that if i send a picture to the guy he will reproduce it for me in the colours i like for around $100...happy about that cause i already have a picture in mind!!! finally my walls at home will have some art work on them!!!
as they were packing up my paintings i wandered down the street and found a great little bag shop with other bits and pieces but who am i kidding...i don't use bags....internally i say 'i will not buy for the sake of buying'..... i go back to the art gallery and they have rolled my paintings and put them in a pvc piping with a rope attached for easy carrying....loved their thoughtfulness.
we headed across the road to another shop that had clothes and bags and shoes....(i must mention two things here....i have been trying to find a pair of sunglasses for the past week...nothing flash but something nice and different to what i normally wear...i must have tried over 100 pairs of glasses on and nothing is nice...the second thing is that my only pair of shoes now stink...no seriously they smell really bad and they're Merrell thongs...the inner soul is cloth and with the journey i've been on they are not smelling the best so i've been desperate for a pair of shoes...comfortable of course)...i see the shoes and pick a pair that i love....they don't have my size....i start looking through the clothes...Eva walks out in a fabulous dress...i figure i should buy the same as we don't live near each other....but no more of those dresses...i try on a couple of other pairs of shoes...they are ok so i leave them on while i look over the clothes again....i try a couple of dresses on but i feel like and look like i've put on weight...nothing looks nice...the shoes are still comfortable...i have one of each on my feet.....i decide on the shoes and while i wait for her to get them together i walk over to the sunglasses..i try on a pair of aviation style...yuk...although i knew that already...i grab another pair (they say rayban but seriously doubt it)...they look great....there's another one to go into the bag....all up $25 for 2 pairs of shoes and a pair of sunnies....happy about that...
we meet up with our taxi driver and we start the long scary trip home only to arrive and the house is locked up...none of us have a key....we decided to head out for dinner and wait it out on full stomaches.....
the feel of the group is different now and although we all like each other and get along really well it's just a feeling i get.....maybe it's because Eva is due to go on Tuesday and me on Wednesday...i'm caught up in thoughts about these kids and what the future holds for them....
I've just finished chatting to Leah and Alana and we are all feeling fairly useless.....it's hard to do this type of volunteering and not feel like you've accomplished anything at any placement (i take care of 5 groups in total)...i'm off to bed now feeling sad and defeated, not yet wanting to leave but wanting to at the same time...
i'm off to bed now....slightly deflated but hopeful that for the next 2.5 days i can just be present with these kids and show them how much they mean to me...
sweet dreams all
love and light
xxxxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment